Silent Wounds of Excellence

My daughter recently sent me a video that I really related to that talked about the different ways that we survive; whether it’s trauma, loss, grief, or life- through busyness and excellence.

I can see it in myself actually- always working to do more, impact more people, and make a bigger difference.

Trying to outrun the loss, the sadness, the fear. Making sure I am excellent in my work, in my volunteering, and in helping community has definitely been a way to cope for a long time, but I didn’t realize it was that, that fueled the late nights, the drive to run a marathon, write a book; or the commitment to change the world. I’ve been hiding behind these activities, these to-dos, this spirit of excellence that shows up; not wanting to see the wounds.

If you can relate you probably also know that it doesn’t go away. It does show up because it’s still there. It shows up late at night, when I finally get tired, when I hear a certain song or even witness an endearing act. I’m still bleeding and for now, I’ll take it. For now, just acknowledging that it’s a thing, is a start. But I’m not ready to let it go and face the gaping hole in my heart.

What about you? Do you see yourself in this conversation? How have you coped or maybe even overcome it? I’d love to hear about your own experience!